<3

Sometimes I forget how small I am. I can't control a lot of things. I don't even think I own my own future, in a sense. I forget how big He is. I can't get over the mentality that He has done it all for me, that there's nothing left to do but hang by his mercy and grace. Like, what kind of person would do that for me, right? Then, I forget He's fully man and fully God. He has feelings, He has desires, He has the power to do all things. But one thing that's hard for me to wrap my head around even until today, is that He's always there. I mean, yeah I know these things, it's what I've been taught all my life, but to practice it and to experience it is different. Sometimes when I'm feeling like total crap, I think what would God want to do with a shithead like me?? Excuse the language but yes, that's what I feel sometimes. And when I do come back to Him, I feel like that all the more because He lets me see how huge and perfect He is again. It's depressing sometimes, but I like it! >=) Weird yes I know. But I like it when I see my God in all His awesomeness even if it takes me to feel as crappy as I do at times.

And what I like best is that He still chooses to look after me and see to my needs even when I don't try my best on my part. Kinda why I like the story of Jonah. No sin is too great to make God ignore you.

With Him, I feel like a real person =)