*shivers*

Sometimes I look back at all that and smile. My, my, have I grown =p

The Power of Your Name

It's already cool that Lincoln Brewster featured Darlene Zschech in "The Power of Your Name" on his latest album "Today is the Day", but when I listened to it properly.... Yeah yeah, I know. Only after a week since I borrowed it, I listen to it. Heh.

Anyhoo, goes something like this.

~~

Surely children weren't made for the streets,
And father's were not made to leave,
Surely this isn't how it should be,
Let Your kingdom come.

Surely nations were not made for war,
Or the broken meant to be ignored,
Surely this just can't be what You saw,
Let Your kingdom come,
Here in my heart.

(Cho)
I will live,
To carry Your compassion,
To love a world that's broken,
To be Your hands and feet,
I will give,
With the life that I've been given,
And go beyond religion,
To see the world be changed,
By the power of Your name.

Surely life wasn't made to regret,
And the lost were not made to forget,
Surely faith without action is dead,
Let Your kingdom come,
Lord break this heart.

(Bridge)
Your name,
Is a shelter for the hurting,
Jesus Your name,
Is a refuge for the weak,
Only Your name,
Can redeem the undeserving,
Jesus Your name,
Holds everything I need.

~~

Argh. What else can I say. The chorus blew my mind away. To go beyond religion.

NgaaaaahhhhHHH

I need to be a part of this generation, along with everything it comes with.

<3

Okay.. let me just say this.
When God speaks, He speaks.
Philippians is officially my favouritEST book in the Bible. Hahaha

Falling in love with Him aaaaaaallllll over again
And you too, retards

=)))))))))))))))

Yoohoo

Things have been so weird lately. The two landslides that have happened in Miri. For the sake of those who aren't in Miri, it's been raining like what like everyday gloom doom meh im so sad i can't go jogging im putting on sooo much weight.... And yeah, apparantly it's made the soil soft or something and the first one half buried a Shell petrol station along with two Indonesians, poor things. I mean, imagine dying without knowing Him and knowing where you'll be when you get to other side. And sometimes I disgust myself talking talking talking never doing what I'm supposed to do. Talk about going to other places, towns, cities, what more to say countries. Pahh, when its right here infront of me, why is it so hard just to open my mouth? Sometimes, it makes me think if music can speak for itself. Then again..... meh, I don't know.

Anyhoo, back to the landslides, the second one along the road in front of Grand Palace Hotel, carried away a few houses. Don't think there were any casualties though. I think they evacuated (is that the word?) about 300plus people from there.

Speaking of evacuation, I CAN'T BELIEVE ROGER DIED ON THE LAST DAY OF EVACUATIONNNNNNN!!!!!! I just watched The Atonement yesterday. Yes, thank you Mama it is a good movie i loved it love you too. Mannnnnn.. Brionyyyyyy whyyyyyyy????? Wuwuwuwuwuwuwuwuwu.. ='(

Sorry, back to the landslides. So.. the soil softened and all? Yup, and since the beloved church building is atop Canada Hill, the road going up has started sinking as well and to think of all those cars that were to go up on Sunday service. Eih.. HENCE, the service was moved to Dynasty which I think was so cool because we had to move all the music instruments and carry it to the first floor we looked like we were going on tour mahahahaha. And we're doing it again next week and most probably the next and the next and the next until whenever its safe to go up the hill again. Which now kinda makes me appreciate the church building, unlike some congregations who have their services in hotel ballrooms. I can't imagine how week in week out they carry their instruments, set up their stage, lighting, sound system and all. Salute. I'm sort of looking forward to next week's service at Parkcity =)

You know, sometimes after that alone time in your bedroom just talking to God does some good. Ok la not sometimes, I guess all the time but sometimes it's better. Am I making any sense? Anyway, I just think it's cool how when we're in so deep in our own troubles and distress and when we come to God, somehow the worry isn't there anymore. When through prayer, we learn to put our trust in God, we have peace. I have this funny mentality that a Christian life is supposed to be a perfect life as in God is always there to protect you so there's no such thing as hardships anymore. And when I look back at all those rantings on my own blog, I feel so stupid and childish for even wanting to post it up for the world to see. I think, even after all these years of knowing Him, I'm slowly beginning to understand that it's not like that. My life is just like everyone else's. If I hide these things, and keep it bottled up all to myself, am I denying that I'm human? Aih.. I don't like it when I start thinking deep. Then again, is this deep? Or maybe I'm just shallow. Hmmm...Ah. I've always been trying to put aside the thought that there are 'things' around that may not want me to get closer to God. I never liked the thought of spiritual warfare. But it's there, yaknw? Yala.. I'm just glad that God still chooses to speak to me even when sometimes I may be down right stubborn.

I remember I wanted to say something else as well but the thought kinda slipped my mind. Mehh.. then again, this post is probably the longest I've written and should probably stop here.

Ah yes, I think I remember. I love God despite the things He lets me go through. And I'll just echo Michelle here, I'm human no robot. And that Invisible Children is a must watch documentary. And that right now, from way way way way down, I'm utterly grateful for being single. Don't ask. AND that I'm annoyed at Malaysian universities because NONE of them have replied my emails. Haiyaaaaah...

Yes.. that's it.



=)

Word-roll

love.
freedom.
forgiveness.
repentance.
obedience.
fear.
sovereignty.
unity.
service.


God is so good at making me gawk speechless

I think I'm in love again...

=)

I wanna go

Ahh Keane thank you for this post.

I was just chatting with Esther on the phone two days ago... I think. We were talking about the exact same thing. I mentioned that there were too many kids out there who are dying, who don't have parents, don't have anything. There are too many out there who go unnoticed.

We can be so selfish at times going on living our lives so carelessly. If we had the ability to change someone's life, to give them a new direction (Well, God does that but you know what I mean), and to see them turn to God at the same time (!!!!!) then why not right??

I think I get it now why some missionaries don't retire. 60, 70, 80 years old and they're still going on strong. I don't think it's easy living in the mission field but how much more joy would there be in that than to work for ourselves to have an easy-going life. I hope that didn't come as an offense to anyone, it's not wrong to work. It makes the world go round. Then again, I've never been in the mission field, I'm still living off my parents, I don't work. I probably don't know what I'm talking about.

But nonetheless.. I would really really like to have the chance one day to see what it's like. To see God work in the worst of situations. To see people who are in real need.

I'm in love <3

I SO LOVE GOD!!!!!!

I LOVE what He's doing in my life
I LOVE the way He brings me round and round and round and when I think I'm getting dizzy and lost, He's telling me He's there
I LOVE His sense of humour. When I hit rock bottom, He makes me smile about it
I LOVE the fact that I HAVE A HOPE TO HOLD ON
I LOVE what He's given me
I LOVE it when I disobey, He turns me back to Him. Like you know.. "Oi Kenaina! *smackonthehead* Hello??"
I LOVE that He turned me from nothing into something in His eyes
I LOVE that there's one person that will never ever let me down
I LOVE I LOVE I LOVE what He's doing right now
I feel so so lost but what the hey, He's right there for me

Can I say it again?
I think I'm in love....
I love I love I love...

=)))))))))))))))))))))))))

Saying goodbye to music

It is NOT easy

For those who know me, music is my all (apart from God lah hehe). Without it, I just wouldn't be me at all. So why did God tell me to let go of something that was so important to me? Something that played such a major role in my life that I would be almost lifeless without..

This didn't just come up recently. The first time He told me was two years back. Kenaina let go of those that's not of me. First thing that came to my mind was my cds. avril. blink182. linkin park. Noooooooooo! (I've grown out of that music now but you know me then...) I compromised and instead of throwing them out, I put them away in a box, my 'scapebox', along with some other stuff. So now, ok my ori's are in a box. Bring on the fakes! Continued again all the way till last year. This pastor from India came to preach at our church and he said something about throwing away worldly music. My dad being my dad made all of us throw away those things, which I wasn't happy about. I thought, if I wanted to I should've done it in my own timing. Why did I have to follow what he said and take a step in my spiritual life when I wasn't ready for it? I was wrong. I decided to talk to Darren about it. If there was anyone that would understand what I was going through, it would be him.

Many other things happened but to cut the long story short, I was doing my quiet time this week.

Just to derive slightly, I love what our guest speaker said at church yesterday. I didn't get his name but he's from DUMC who apparantly has a tall, good-looking son, or so I heard *coughcoughceliiii* Anyhoooooooo, God is not that small minded. If you don't do your quiet time, he's not going to bring down fire on you. It's for YOU to get closer to God and that's how you can communicate with him. So you should only feel guilty about yourself not trying harder to get closer to God. Something along those lines la....

Anyway, yeah. I was doing my quiet time. And I read a devotional. Ah.. devotionals always come in at the right time *sigh* It was talking about music again. That we should be careful with what we listen to and all that. It brought back what God tried to tell me years ago. Guilt.

But I continued in my stubborness so I argued with God. "Why take away something that you've put in me to love so much? And what about other people? They're so far in their spiritual life yet you never told them to let go of it pun! It's not fair ba!" It went on and on and on....

I recently got into this song "I Kissed A Girl" by Katy Perry and I was humming it in the car on the way to music practice that night. I know... like such a hypocrite right? Then, suddenly God said to me "Those words in that song. Do you think it puts right images in peoples' minds? Does it come from me?" That made me shut up.. Sometime after that, somehow God reminded me of what I said about other poeple and why they can listen to secular music and I can't. He told me "Well, it's on their record. Not yours." And it suddenly hit me. I realised how directionless and self praising these songs were.

Can I just say this.. I LOVE GOD SPEAKING TO ME!!!! =))))))))

The following day, I continued on reading my bible and I came across this verse.

26 If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, 27 but only a fearful expectation of judgement and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God.

Hebrews 10:26-27

I don't even have to explain this part. God was telling me to once and for all to do what He said or I would have to expect what I knew was to come. So from there, all my cds original and fake, songs in my computer, gone. I have yet to delete the ones in my hard disk but I will! Sorry to all those who have burned cds for me but yeah.. did what I had to do, you know?

So I'm sharing this from my heart and I'm not telling anyone to do what I did but I post it as a challenge. This post wasn't to offend anyone either so if it has, sorry. But I do hope that it has somehow made you guys realise something. Long post, but it's worth it =)

Untitled. Just read =)

I got the new Hillsong This is Our God album and I instantly fell in love with two songs from it, Desert Song and Healer. Occasionally, I would go online to look for lyrics of songs I like. I didn't manage to find them, probably because the album's not even out yet and I own the pirated copy.. ahah! But anyway, as I was doing this I checked out their links in youtube.com, and boy did it blow my mind away.

The first thing that came to my mind was, how cool it is that God doesn't say only the better off in life-never emo type can go to the front line for Him. Jill McCloghry sang together with Brooke Fraser for the Desert Song, and just hearing her testimony almost put me to tears. It made me realize that there are so many people around me that say they don't want to do this and that for God simply because they're not good enough. In fact, that used to be me not too long ago. She is an anointed worship leader, sings Christian albums, that whole package, and through that season of loss in her life, she had also felt that emptiness and numbness that any one of us would have felt. And yet she chose to overcome that and stand in the front line to glorify the God that let all that happen to make her realize that HE IS GOD.





And then there's Mike Guglielmucci, a great testimony on its own. Singing up there with all these medical stuff hanging off him and actually not being allowed to stand up in case his ribs break, which have apparently happened a few times already. He keeps going up there declaring God.





They're not much different than you and I, but this is the life they chose. They chose to live a life that glorified God no matter how hard their trials or pains were.

God didn't need us to make Him great, but He made us anyway.
And that alone is our reason to live.

Felt like sharing this

I remembered this was stored away somewhere in the comp memory. Its better that I share it than keep it =)

This is one of the most amazing and memorable things that has ever happened to me and has contributed much to my belief in God. For those who have never heard it, be blessed and I hope this touches you in some way or another. To those who have asked me 'Why church? Why "God"?', well this is why.

By the way, I wrote this about mid last year, so this didn't really happen last week. Here goes.

Have a good read everyone!

........

It all started a week ago when a group of us from EYM were asked to attend a leadership seminar by Ps Leroy. There were 3 sessions but I couldn’t even go to one because I was so busy with outside activities. On the night of the Experience concert, the rest who attended were talking about how they were touched and all their testimonies of what happened on the night. Apparently, they all claimed to have felt the anointing of the Holy Spirit on them. I felt quite left out and also a bit jealous because I didn’t get to feel it. After all, I was also supposed to be there. If I had been there, I would have felt it too. For a while, I was discouraged by it but one day while I was doing my quiet time, I asked God for that same anointing to fall on me too. I felt the Lord telling me that I will get my chance; something better might happen.

On my way home from tuition on Friday, my dad told me about a seminar by the manna couple that was held the day before where manna literally fell from Heaven. I wanted to see it for myself so I contacted Maxwin straight away and got transport to the seminar that night.

True enough, there was manna that night. We saw the manna and they were small in perfect square shapes. We even got to taste it!! It was sweet and tasted something like Tiger biscuits. Imagine how privileged we were to eat food from Heaven.

I was sitting next to Max throughout the whole thing and towards the end, there was a time of prayer. I realized that he had his hands out and then he turned to me. He said “Eh, Kenaina. I feel something in my hands la. Do you wanna try and feel it?” During the leadership seminar with Ps Leroy, they were taught how to pray for others to pass on the anointing. For those who already have the anointing, their hands would be held out. For those who are to receive the anointing, their hands would be held out on top of the other person’s hands. And so, I put my hand over Max’s hands just for fun not knowing that something would actually happen. Suddenly, I felt this force-like electricity flowing into my hands. Then, ‘tak’! It was as if I had an electric shock! I could even hear the sound! I felt it in my hands and in my heart. The force was so strong that it actually hurt. I wasn’t quite sure whether it was God’s anointing flowing into me or if it was just static. After a while, I still felt it in my hands and I knew that it was God’s anointing upon me. It was what the guys felt during the leadership seminar. I was so happy that I finally got my chance! But, it didn’t stop there. We were asked to pray for physical healing in our bodies and so I prayed for my migraine and for my scar to go away. As we sat down, I felt as if someone stuck their finger into my head and korek2. It was the exact same spot where my migraine always was. At this time, I still could feel the force in my hands.

We were asked to pray for the second time. I thought to myself, I had two prayer items. If God has answered one already, I might as well take this opportunity to pray and make sure He does something about my scar. And so I started praying. The force in my hands was getting stronger.

2 years ago, I was involved in a car accident where I got this scar, fractured a bone in my neck and broke some bones and ligaments in both my hands. Since that day, my knuckles were distorted and they never looked the same as before. For those who have seen it, I had a big dent between my 2^nd and 3^rd knuckle on both hands.

As I was holding out my hands, I felt my bones in my right arm shift and as if something grew in my hand. The same thing happened to my left arm after that. I didn’t really care about it because I thought that maybe it was just some involuntary muscle movement or something. When we were done praying, I felt my forehead to see if my scar had gone. Unfortunately, it was still there and I felt quite down and sad. But then, I remembered that I also had felt something in my hands and my arms. I looked down, clutched my fists and I saw that my knuckles were totally aligned, perfect, and was back to normal!! I was so amazed at what God had shown to me that night. He had healed me! Even after that, I could still feel God’s anointing in my hands for quite some time. My friends who were there did too.

That was the first time that I had truly experienced the power of God so strong in me. I know that God has touched me and my spiritual life will never be the same again. It’s like God has taken me to a whole new level in Him. I just pray that I will never loose this and that you guys will some day encounter his fresh anointing just like I did.